Grief; my friend

Hi, it’s been a while.

I just have a couple of thoughts and feelings that I feel important to share.

An experience happened to me about a year and a half ago. I randomly met my neighbor across the street when we were both checking our mail. She and I exchanged glances and soon began a conversation. We were soon effortlessly talking about our lives.

She explained to me that she had some significant loss in her life and had been attending a support group.

She invited me to go with her, not knowing too much about me. I attended and remember feeling a sense of belonging and understanding that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. This understanding was given to me by people who had lost their loved ones as well and the only word I can use to explain it is “hope.”

I have attended regularly ever since.

I feel that the first couple of years after Caleb passed, I attempted to resist the grief that accompanied me along my journey.

Now, I like to visualize grief as a person, guiding me along my path. Have you ever been blindfolded and have been lead by someone and needing to trust that you will make it to the destination safely? This is how I imagine it to be.

You may ask, “Marissa, why do you imagine grief as a person? Grief is difficult and complex. It has no place to go. Grief is hard.”

I see grief as a person, because I view it as an experience guiding me, rather than who I am. I am not grief, but I do experience the feeling.

Visualizing grief as a person with a guiding hand, has allowed me great empowerment.

I have learned many things in the 4 years of experiencing grief.

I’ve learned that it never goes away, nor do I want it to. Grief is a reminder for me of the sincere love and adoration for him.

I was reminded that every loss is unique. This doesn’t mean that your loss is better or worse than another’s, it is just

different. Each person experiences grief in their own way and it is valid for them individually.

I have loved attending this support group and feel deep gratitude for my life. I have been forever changed by grief; my friend.